<% s.historylist = [] %> <% s.turncount = 0 %> <% s.class="" %> <% s.lastmon = "" %> <% s.lastwed = "" %> <% s.lastsat = "" %> <% s.currentday = "mon" %> <p><video style="width:0;height: 0" id="bgvid" playsinline autoplay muted src="img/paint.webm" type="video/webm"></video></p> <p><img src="img/pseudavid.png" style="position:fixed; right:40px; bottom:40px; height:100px; width:100px"></p> <script>clearBlock('hero f150 center')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block hero f150 center' id='hero f150 center'><div class='block-content'> <p>The Moon wed Saturn</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>clearBlock('--O only-portrait')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block --O only-portrait' id='--O only-portrait'><div class='block-content'> <p>Please rotate your device. It is recommended to play this story with your device in landscape (horizontal) mode. </p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>clearBlock('--O only-mobile')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block --O only-mobile' id='--O only-mobile'><div class='block-content'> <p>You will play a simplified version in this device. The story is playable, but a larger screen is necessary for illustrations and the full design.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "Content warnings","warnings")</script><script>addOp( "Credits","credits")</script><script>if( localStorage.getItem("twine-autosave") ) {addOp( "Load game","loading") }</script> <script>addOp( "Start","introduction")</script><script>clearBlock('hero')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block hero' id='hero'><div class='block-content'> <p class='center f125'>Content warnings </p> <p class='center'>☙ </p> <p class='center'>Rare swearing. </p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "Main menu","start")</script><script>clearBlock('hero top')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block hero top' id='hero top'><div class='block-content'> <p class='center f125'>Words and programming by Pseudavid </p> <p class='center f125'>☙ </p> <p class='center '>Testers </p> <p class='center '><a href="https://twitter.com/AKheon">AKheon</a>, Ann Hugo, Carl Muckenhoupt, Julian “styroporimohr” Rösler, <a href="https://twitter.com/MathBrush">Mathbrush</a>, Victor Gijsbers </p> <p class='center f125'>☙ </p> <p class='center '>Great thanks to the amazing Twine community, including greyelf, Thomas Michael Edwards, Dan Cox and others for their consistent support to authors. </p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "Main menu","start")</script><script>clearBlock('hero f125 past')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block hero f125 past' id='hero f125 past'><div class='block-content'> <p>[[introduction]]</p> <p>[[interlude i]]</p> <p>[[interlude ii]]</p> <p>[[interlude iii]]</p> </div></div></div><script>clearBlock('hero f125 past')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block hero f125 past' id='hero f125 past'><div class='block-content'> <p>I had one job. It was preventing intrusions.</p> <p>But I didn't notice her slipping in. And when I noticed her I let her go without making a complaint. I hadn't even learned her name.</p> <p>And then I let her come secretly any night she wanted. </p> <p>'Verónica, it's me,' she whispered. </p> <p>Around us there were only unfinished walls, dry hills and the sea. We spent a few hours together and she left before the morning shift came.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "Monday was the day Araceli and I found out how much we liked each other.","mon absent again")</script><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p>She's been doing nothing, with an absent look, for a couple of minutes. The same look she had when I found her five nights ago, wandering through the estate.</p> <p>'Araceli? Araceli!'</p> <p>She doesn't react. I take a moment to look at her. I can't stop thinking about how beautiful she seems to me, although I certainly don't find her pretty at all. First time in my life.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Keep looking.","mon absent look", "It was just the third night we had met. I was enthralled.")</script><script>addShow( "Insist.","mon absent insist", "It was just the third night we had met. I didn't know that being impatient with her was useless, yet.")</script><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>Araceli doesn't seem upset or nervous. She seems at ease, in fact, and it is lovely seeing her. Even if she isn't here at all.</p> <script>passDisplay('mon araceli answers', 'oII')</script> </div></div></div><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>'Araceli! Araceli!' I repeat. I don't care if I seem nervous.</p> <script>passDisplay('mon araceli answers', 'oII')</script> </div></div></div><p>After half a minute of silence, she suddenly says, 'Yes? What?'</p> <p>She's amused when I explain that she had the same look the night I found her, when she almost couldn't say a word.</p> <p>'This place freaked me out,' she says. 'It's still freaking me out. That's why I came.'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> <script>addShow( "She shouldn't keep coming, then.","mon not come", "I found it weird that she kept coming to a disturbing place.")</script><script>addShow( "Perhaps I can do a little something about that.","mon little something", "I felt things would not move forward if I didn't push them.")</script><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>'Why do you keep coming, then?' I ask. I don't soften my tone, as if I was really trying to get her to leave.</p> <script>passDisplay('mon she cooler', 'oII')</script> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Ask her if she thinks I'm not smart.","mon ask smart", "I kept asking myself if she thought I was smart, and at some point I lost it and asked her.")</script><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>I lean forward. 'Anything I can do to un-freak you out?'</p> <script>passDisplay('mon she cooler', 'oII')</script> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Ask her if I'm strange enough for her taste.","mon ask strange", "I was too careful all the time. Never spontaneous, always trying to know everything in advance.")</script><script>addShow( "Tell her I'll be strange if she likes that.","mon tell strange", "Sometimes I felt strong enough to be whatever she wanted me to be. ")</script><p>She smiles and stretches backwards. 'To me this place is a damn museum. I love this weirdness.'</p> <p>I don't really understand. </p> <p>Araceli is undoubtedly smarter than me. She lives in a bigger place, she has some money, she's taller and fitter and hotter than me, she's older and way cooler.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>She seems very surprised at the question. I'm discovering she has a wide array or surprised faces. </p> <p>'I... haven't... thought of that. Of course you seem smart. Why not?'</p> <script>passDisplay('mon stop talk', 'oII')</script> </div></div></div><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>She seems very surprised at the question. I'm discovering she has a wide array or surprised faces. </p> <p>'I want this place to be strange. Who said I want you to be strange?'</p> <script>passDisplay('mon stop talk', 'oII')</script> </div></div></div><p>She's probably right to be surprised. Why can't I just chill?</p> <p>'Stop the talk. Do something, Verónica. Entertain me.'</p> <p>There's only one thing.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> <script>addShow( "Look at her sarcastically and refuse to do anything.","mon sarcasm refuse", "Being demanding was just fun for her. I didn't want to be her entertainer.")</script><script>addShow( "Kiss her.","mon kissed only once", "She wanted me to do something, and there was one thing I wanted to do. And yet...")</script><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>'If you like strange things, I'll be the strangest thing you've seen, I promise,' I say.</p> <p>'That's a tall order,' she says. 'Just relax... I'm on holiday!'</p> <p>But not me.</p> <p>'You are. This is my job. I live just behind that hill.'</p> <p>'Well, enough working tonight. Stop the talk. Do something, Verónica. Entertain me.'</p> <p>There's only one thing.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Look at her sarcastically and refuse to do anything.","mon sarcasm refuse", "Being demanding was just fun for her. I didn't want to be treated like that.")</script><script>addShow( "Kiss her.","mon kissed only once", "She wanted me to do something, and there was one thing I wanted to do. And yet...")</script><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>I'm not good at sarcasm. I'm not good at being stared at. I don't want to yield...</p> <p>But if I did... There's the other problem, what to do to satisfy her? I can only think of one thing. It keeps sounding in my head like a ball bouncing in a big empty hall.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Kiss her.","mon kissed only once", "She wanted me to do something, and there was one thing I wanted to do. And yet...")</script><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>It's the third day we see each other. </p> <p>Two days ago, we kissed. Only once. We haven't kissed today yet. I see a copy of me (a different me) kiss her. I open my eyes and Araceli is there, judging me.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Do kiss her.","wed yes to what", "Taking the initiative to kiss her was so hard then. I'm still amazed that I did.")</script><script>addShow( "Wait until she kisses me.","wed yes to what", "Taking the initiative to kiss her was so hard then. I had to be careful.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>'Yes yes yes,' says Araceli.</p> <p>'Yes to what?'</p> <p>'To your question.'</p> <p>'I don't remember any unanswered question.'</p> <p>'It wasn't today,' she says. Then she chuckles. </p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Insist. I want to know what she's talking about.","mon story cigarette", "She did this all the time. Like the story with the cigarette.")</script><script>addShow( "Give up.","mon story cigarette", "She did this all the time. Like the story with the cigarette.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>Araceli speaks erratically. She seems to forget what she's talking about and never go back. Her hands fiddle with things all the time, trying to attract her attention.</p> <p>She's been holding a cigarette for a couple of minutes when she says, 'Hey, got a lighter? I always lose mine.'</p> <p>'I don't smoke anymore,' I say, while I light her cigarette. 'I only keep the lighter because my dad gave it to me.'</p> <p>'And don't you want to smoke once in a while?' she asks, taking a second cigarette out of her pack.</p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Smoke it. I'm going to love every second.","mon smoke cig", "The first time she offered me to smoke, I said yes. She didn't even have to insist.")</script><script>addShow( "Refuse the cigarette. Be firm against her and against myself.","mon refuse cig", "The first time she offered me to smoke, I said no, and I really believed I had been clear and firm against her.")</script><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>Without a word, I take the second cigarette, I put it in my lips, I light it, I have the first puff, I blow the first smoke. Each step is slow and methodical, taking all my mind.</p> <p>'No,' I say. 'I quit for good. Never feel like it.'</p> <p>She stares at me. I remember kissing her. I smile and throw the cigarette through the window after just two puffs.</p> <p>'But I like that you did something you don't feel like doing just because I suggested it,' says Araceli.</p> <p>That doesn't sound like a... good way of managing social relationships. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "'Would you do it for me?'","mon would do", "She started telling me things that went too far quite early. I had to stop it.")</script><script>addShow( "'People don't ask others they care about to do things they hate.'","mon people hate", "She started telling me things that went too far quite early. I had to stop it.")</script><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>'No way,' I say. 'I'm done with that.'</p> <p>'I'd like you to do it,' she says.</p> <p>'Why?'</p> <p>'Because it's good to check if a person I'm starting to know is willing to do things they dislike for me.'</p> <p>That doesn't sound like a... good way of managing social relationships. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "'Would you do it for me?'","mon would do", "She started telling me things that went too far quite early. I had to stop it.")</script><script>addShow( "'People don't ask others they care about to do things they hate.'","mon people hate", "She started telling me things that went too far quite early. I had to stop it.")</script><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>'Of course I would do such a thing for you,' she says, and for once she sounds fully serious, no hint of irony. 'I would never ask if I wouldn't.'</p> <p>'I... don't really believe you?'</p> <p>Oh, and now she looks so charming. </p> <p>'Try me. Ask.'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Ask for another kiss and imply she doesn't like it so much.","wed really want", "Again, there was one thing I wanted from her more than anything else. ")</script><script>addShow( "Ask for a full explanation of what she was doing here when I found her.","wed really want", "There were things I wanted from her. But I could hardly ask.")</script><script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>She doesn't enjoy my question. 'People don't ask others they care about to do things they hate?' she repeats.</p> <p>'I mean, not without a good reason.'</p> <p>'You really, really, really need to get out more,' she says. 'Age will cure that. I hope.'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Reply to that shit.","wed really want", "Many times I'd ask something she didn't like, she told me I was too young. She was just six or seven years older.")</script><script>addShow( "Shut up and be sullen.","wed really want", "Many times I'd ask something she didn't like, she told me I was too young. She was just six or seven years older.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>Why can't I tell her what I want? No... I wait until she says it herself. </p> <p>I want her to say that she'd like to see me in the village, in a normal place where people exist. Not only here, where I work, alone and far from everybody. Say it, Araceli, damn.</p> <p>I don't have any reasons to think she will.</p> <p class='smalltex'>On the other hand, I'm getting more than enough kissing like this. </p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Keep waiting.","wed care wait", "I thought she didn't care about me. I'm still not sure I was wrong.")</script><script>addShow( "Complain that she doesn't really care about me.","wed complain care", "I thought she didn't care about me. I'm still not sure I was wrong.")</script><script>addShow( "Joke that she cares little about me.","wed joke care", "I thought she didn't care about me. I'm still not sure I was wrong.")</script><script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>'You didn't come yesterday. You don't really care about me,' I say. </p> <p>'Then why do I keep coming and coming and coming?' She has the loveliest, funniest playful tone I've ever heard. I can't hide a chuckle. So I give up. Again. She'll have it her way.</p> <p>She stares, and she has a way of staring at me that makes me feel so good, that makes me think she wants to be here with me. Even if she doesn't want to be with me outside. Yet.</p> <script>passDisplay('wed more kissing', 'IoI')</script> </div></div></div><script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>'You know, I don't feel you care about me anymore,' I say, in a playful sing-song voice. 'So, if you want to keep coming you'll have to bribe me.'</p> <p>'Wow. Even more bribing?' answers Araceli.</p> <p>I have to admit that she's right.</p> <script>passDisplay('wed more kissing', 'IoI')</script> </div></div></div><script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>'I won't say anything,' I say in all earnest, 'until you say what I want you to say.'</p> <p>'I actually know exactly what that is,' she answers. She has the loveliest, funniest playful tone I've ever heard. I can't help playing along.</p> <p>'Tell me,' I say, in a sing-song voice.</p> <script>passDisplay('wed more kissing', 'IoI')</script> </div></div></div><% if (_.contains(s.historylist,'mon ask strange')) { %><p>'You are strange enough for my taste,' she says.</p> <% }; %><% if (_.contains(s.historylist,'mon ask smart')) { %><p>'You are the smartest person I have met for a long time,' she says.</p> <% }; %><p>More kissing ensues. More than enough.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> <script>addShow( "Enjoy this moment.","wed meet in village", "There was so much excitement with her. It made me believe anything was possible.")</script><script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>'Don't you want to meet me in the village?' I ask, and immediately, an ice-cold hand grips my neck. How could I say that without thinking? I think about everything ten times in advance. I didn't intend to say it. </p> <p>Araceli's expression is judgemental. I better fix this right now.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Tell her to forget what I said.","sat only here correct", "I was so embarrassed of asking her bluntly if she wanted to meet me in the village.")</script><script>addShow( "Don't correct myself. Even if it was a mistake.","sat only here not correct", "I was so embarrassed of asking her bluntly if she wanted to meet me in the village.")</script><script>passDisplay('sat only here')</script><script>passDisplay('sat only here')</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>'Now I understand why you only want to see me here,' I say.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <% if (_.contains(s.historylist,'sat only here correct')) { %><script>addShow( "'And I accept it.'","wed correct mistake", "And I said I accepted that she wanted to see me only in the weird place. Wishful thinking.")</script><script>addShow( "Don't add anything else.","wed correct mistake", "I didn't say anything else about meeting only in the weird place.")</script><% }; %><% if (_.contains(s.historylist,'sat only here not correct')) { %><script>addShow( "'And I accept it.'","wed not correct mistake", "And I said I accepted that she wanted to see me only in the weird place. Wishful thinking.")</script><script>addShow( "Don't add anything else.","wed not correct mistake", "I didn't say anything else about meeting only in the weird place.")</script><% }; %><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>Araceli looks colder and colder: head tilting backwards, eyes fixed in a squint. Fatigued. Long-term burnout.</p> <p>'I'm sorry,' I whisper. 'Forget it.'</p> <p>'Just relax, Okay?'</p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "'Okay.'","wed ok relax", "She told me to relax. I said I would.")</script><script>addShow( "Say nothing.","wed nothing relax", "She told me to relax. I said nothing.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>Araceli looks colder and colder: head tilting backwards, eyes fixed in a squint. Fatigued. Long-term burnout.</p> <p>So what? Does she really believe her burnout can compare to mine? Here, with nothing to do and nobody to be with? I don't say anything. </p> <p>'Just relax... I'm on holiday.' she says.</p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "'You. Are. I'm. Not.'","wed not relax", "She told me to relax. I said I wouldn't.")</script><script>addShow( "'Okay.'","wed ok relax", "She told me to relax. I said I would.")</script><script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>'Okay. Okay. As you like,' I say.</p> <p>'My life back home is a mess,' says Araceli, in a precise, calm tone. 'Meeting you here helps. Can't we leave it like that just for a few days?'</p> <p>'Okay. Okay. My life is not a mess, it's just...' I can't go on. How can I explain? That most of my family has left, most of my friends have left, all remaining jobs here involve doing crap for bastard employers. That at home I sleep most of the time.</p> <p>I look through the windows. Nothing to see outside. Nothing to hear.</p> <p>'Come here,' she whispers. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Go with her.","wed come here", "She opened her arms for me. It was all she could do then. It was either that or nothing. ")</script><script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>'You. Are. I'm. Not.' </p> <p>'My life back home is a mess,' says Araceli, in a precise, calm tone. 'Meeting you here helps. Can't we leave it like that just for a few days?'</p> <p>I just wave my hand at her. How can I explain? That most of my family has left, most of my friends have left, all remaining jobs here involve doing crap for bastard employers. That at home I sleep most of the time.</p> <p>I look through the windows. Nothing to see outside. Nothing to hear.</p> <p>'Come here,' she whispers. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Get out.","wed get out", "I wasn't in the mood for her. I just left.")</script><script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>I say nothing. I look through the windows. Nothing to see outside. Nothing to hear.</p> <p>Since she started coming, I hate being at home. I sleep most of the time. Most of my family has left, most of my friends have left, all jobs left involve doing crap for bastard employers. If only I could see her there... But I won't. </p> <p>'My life back home is a mess,' says Araceli, in a precise, calm tone. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Get out.","wed get out", "I wasn't in the mood for her. I just left.")</script><script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>I look through the windows, but there's nothing. Nothing makes any noise outside, so I hear Araceli's breathing, so close to me. I think I can even hear her heart, but perhaps that's my imagination.</p> <p>It's so quiet and calm.</p> <p>'I have something to show you,' I say, startling her. I reach for my flashlight. </p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Go out with her.","sat stars memory", "I suddenly thought that I needed to show the stars to her.")</script><script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>I stand up, I reach for the flashlight and walk to the door.</p> <p>'Going out?' she asks. Her voice is not as composed as a moment ago.</p> <p>What if she comes with me? She's sure going to like where I'm going. </p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Tell her to go out with me.","sat stars memory", "Perhaps we wouldn't be together, but sharing was better than not sharing. ")</script><script>addShow( "Say see you later and leave.","sat stars idea", "I just wanted to be alone.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>'Verónica,' she says, 'seeing the stars the other day with you is a memory for the rest of my life. The moment that all went dark... the hill blocked all the lamppost light from the estate and then you turned the flashlight off... I can hear the click of the switch. And then all the darkness and the stars and the Milky Way. It was a revelation. I don't get starlight at home surrounded by three million people.'</p> <p>When was the last time I felt like this? </p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Remember the stars.","wed remember stars", "I was remembering the stars again and thinking how thankful Araceli was for them.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>'Remember when I went walking the other day? With the flashlight?' I say. Araceli nods. 'I saw something that I need to show you. If you go a bit behind that hill there all the lamppost light from the estate gets blocked. We are quite a bit far from the village. There's no light contamination. The stars are amazing. You see the Milky Way, Jupiter is really bright. You have to see them. I'm sure you don't get that where you live. I have to make sure you see them.'</p> <p>'It sounds beautiful, Verónica. Thank you. I'll go with you.'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Remember that walk.","wed remember walk", "I was remembering the stars again and thinking how much Araceli would like them.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>We walk through the estate. Araceli examines everything we pass by. She came for this the first time, after all. This half-built weirdness, this brick and mortar absurdity.</p> <p>'I'm a bad girl,' says Araceli, 'and I have a bad idea.'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "'What does your bad idea involve?'","sat bad idea", "I asked what her bad idea was. I really couldn't imagine what it would become.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>After a few minutes watching the stars, I return to my security booth. I find Araceli pacing outside. She's examining everything. She came for this the first time, after all. This half-built weirdness, this brick and mortar absurdity.</p> <p>'I'm a bad girl,' says Araceli, 'and I have a bad idea.'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "'What does your bad idea involve?'","sat bad idea", "I asked what her bad idea was. I really couldn't imagine what it would become.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>'Did you bring it?' I ask. </p> <p>'I don't bring things when they tell me I shouldn't bring things because bringing things would make people lose their jobs,' she says. But she has a mischievous smile.</p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "'Right. Open your backpack. Now.'","sat open backpack", "She said she didn't bring it, but I knew wasn't true.")</script><script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>She opens the backpack, and takes a can of spray paint out.</p> <p>She chuckles.</p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "Now I decide what to do with that.","interlude i")</script><script>clearBlock('hero f125 past')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block hero f125 past' id='hero f125 past'><div class='block-content'> <p>She hated that place, the estate, more than me. She was also more fascinated than me. Aesthetically fascinated, she said, even if it was horrible.</p> <p>The streets they didn't pave and never would. The half-built pillars and white walls, one floor high, nothing on the other side of the doors and windows. </p> <p>All houses (just their ribs, like Eve when God was just starting her) carefully placed to have some view of the sea. The twisty track, never finished, never a road, down to the beach. </p> <p>Planned for four hundred people, no one would ever come. But the lampposts were working. I couldn't understand why. </p> <p>My job in the security booth was doing a whole night shift of watching nothing.</p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "Best job I ever had, I told her.","sat best job ever")</script><script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p>'I'm starting to see why this might be your best job ever,' says Araceli, after pulling my hair lightly to make me look at her face. I smile and blow her a kiss.</p> <p>But now that she finally gets the joke, I've grown tired of it.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "I'm ready to ruin this job.","wed future here", "What if I lose the job, I thought. It will be worth it.")</script><script>addShow( "I won't take risks with this job.","wed future here", "She wanted me to rebel, but fear paralized me.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p>'Do you have a future here?' she asks. </p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Say something.","mon job details", "She kept asking about my future.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p>She keeps asking details about the job. I tell her everything, why not?</p> <p>I'm the night watcher. This is a construction site: a housing development with almost two hundred villas near the sea, intended for foreign tourists or holiday homes for the wealthy.</p> <p>But it's all absurd because there's nothing to watch over. They had barely built the roads, erected the lampposts and started the ground floor of a dozen buildings when a judge paralized everything.</p> <p>The boss...</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Tell her about the bastard.","mon details bastard", "I told Araceli everything about this shitty place from the beginning.")</script><script>addShow( "Understate the truth.","mon understate bastard", "I didn't tell Araceli everything about this shitty place from the beginning.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>'I know about the owner of the place,' Araceli says. 'I wrote some news articles about this. That's why I came.'</p> <p>Well, then I can be clear.</p> <script>passDisplay('mon owner bribing', 'oII')</script> </div></div></div><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><script>passDisplay('mon owner bribing', 'oII')</script> </div></div></div><p>'Seems like the owner has been bribing and corrupting everyone and their dog since long before I was born. He bribed one half of the town hall to get authorization to build this inside a national park. They recorded him offering a house at half price to the mayor. He has appealed one last time, we are just waiting for the tribunal to uphold the sentence and they'll come to demolish all this.'</p> <p>'You'll lose this job,' she says.</p> <p>'I'll cheer. That bastard owns us.'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> <script>addShow( "Rant.","mon boss rant", "I couldn't contain myself.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>'He owns hotels. Owns beach shops. Owns the casino. Owns half the chemical factory. He owns the jobs. I worked in the factory. I saw tourists on the beach everyday when I went to work. The factory feels dangerous. For him the goal of workplace hazard prevention is to prevent getting caught by inspectors. We all know there will be a serious accident some day. That's what I thought when I saw the people on the beach on my way to work. That's why I quit. And I'm not going to work in the casino.'</p> <p>Through my rant, her expression has changed to something I have not seen before. Intensely focused.</p> <p>'So this was the only job left? This... absurd watching over nothing worth stealing?'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Yes.","mon like job", "I explained all about the job.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>'Yes.'</p> <p>'And what about the job itself?' she asks. 'Do you like it? Do you want to keep doing this?'</p> <p>So here it is. Depending on what I answer, I can look like a barely intelligent loser, like an unreliable liar, like a cowardly conformist... so many choices.</p> <p>I can trust her and tell her the pathetic truth about me. Or I can try to deflect this conversation or delay it.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "The truth: I like this job.","wed future here 2", "And when she asked, I said the truth: that I liked that job.")</script><script>addShow( "Say I don't want to talk about this now.","wed future here 2", "When she asked if I liked the job, I abruptly changed the subject.")</script><script>addShow( "Say something that makes me look good.","wed future here 2", "When she asked if I liked the job, I said what I thought she wanted to hear.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>'Do you have a future here?' she asks. I don't want to say neither yes nor no.</p> <p>'Just a little.'</p> <p>'And a little is enough?' she insists.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "True: yes.","mon best job", "I admitted that a little future was enough for me.")</script><script>addShow( "False: no.","mon best job", "I said I wanted more than a little future. I lied through my teeth.")</script><script>addShow( "Ask why she keeps asking about this.","mon best job", "I complained that she kept asking about my job and my future again and again.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>But she keeps pressing the point, and in the end I tell her more or less the truth.</p> <p>'Best job I ever had,' I say.</p> <p>'Really? Like really, really? Don't bullshit me.'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Keep bulshitting her.","mon best job bullshit", "I kept bullshitting her. Always choose fun.")</script><script>addShow( "Tell the truth.","mon best job truth", "I was tired of overthinking all I said.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>'You know how many of my friends have stable jobs here? None. You know how many of my friends have left because of that? All. The last left one month ago,' I explain.</p> <p>Araceli seems uncomfortable. </p> <p>'This job pays,' I say. 'That's not for granted around here.'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Stop talking about me.","sat under stars", "At that point I decided that she should speak about herself more.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>'What's not to love about this job?' I say. 'I get to work without seeing anybody at all. I don't have to do anything because there's no actual work to do. I can entertain visitors all night if I want. I really hope I keep this job forever. Until I can no longer stand the sight of another person.'</p> <p>She seems unsure. She doesn't know if I'm serious or not. I'm not so sure either.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Stop talking about me.","sat under stars", "At that point I decided that she should speak about herself more.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>A little is enough?</p> <p>I'm outside the booth, waiting for Araceli again. I haven't seen her since Wednesday. </p> <p>Some stars are visible between the working lampposts. Yes, trying to glimpse stars is, in a sense, a part of my job. Could it be a part of my future? Could it be enough?</p> <p>Not if I keep seeing Araceli. I have the feeling that nothing will ever be enough for her.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "Keep waiting.","interlude ii")</script><script>clearBlock('hero f125 past')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block hero f125 past' id='hero f125 past'><div class='block-content'> <p>We didn't kiss a lot, or even touch. We looked in each other's eyes very often, and we learned to communicate through subtle movements: eyelids wide open or a mere crack, the position and inclination of the head to change the effect of light on our faces, smiles that lingered in the margins of our vision and fainted the moment they came into focus. This time she took my jacket from the rack, she placed it on her lap and started to unfold and fold it and touch every line, pocket and tear. 'What do you put in here? How did you rip this?'</p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "It was so beautiful, until she said she was leaving.","sat leaving when")</script><script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p>My throat is getting tight, and a rift has suddenly opened between my ribs and my stomach. I must keep cool. </p> <p>'When are you leaving then?' I ask. I talk fast to conceal any emotion.</p> <p>'What did you say?'</p> <p>'When are you leaving?' I repeat, more slowly. It doesn't sound cool.</p> <p>'Monday. They're asking for a full week of work,' she says. I don't know if she's doing it consciously or not, but the self-assurance and the control in her voice are beyond anything I could ever hope for. 'If I know these guys, it'll be longer.'</p> <p>Perhaps ten days. Or two weeks. Or a month.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Ask when she is coming back.","sat coming when", "I asked when she was coming back, so she knew that she must.")</script><script>addShow( "Ask if she is coming back.","sat coming if", "I asked if she was coming back, so she knew that I couldn't trust her.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>'When will you be back?'</p> <p>She shrugs. Her expression is indifferent: the question and the answer don't matter to her.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Ask if she is coming back and hide my emotions.","sat back hiding", "I asked and tried to be cool. ")</script><script>addShow( "Ask if she is coming back and be open about how afraid I am.","sat back open", "I asked, not trying to be cool.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>And will you come back here when you're done with that?</p> <p>Those are the words, but what should my voice be like? Is it better that I hide my fear and disillusionment, or that I make them clear? Better for what? For honest communication with her? Or getting her to do what I want? </p> <p>I can go on like this forever. I have to stop and ask.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "No. Ask when she is coming back.","sat coming when", "I changed my mind and asked something different.")</script><script>addShow( "Ask if she is coming back and hide my emotions.","sat back hiding", "I asked and tried to be cool. ")</script><script>addShow( "Ask if she is coming back and be open about how afraid I am.","sat back open", "I asked, not trying to be cool.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>'I need to know if you will be back when you're done with that,' I say. My voice sounds like a child that is going to cry over her brother eating the last piece of cake.</p> <script>passDisplay('sat araceli dont know', 'IIo')</script> </div></div></div><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>'And will you come back here when you're done with that?' My voice is flat, my face is concrete.</p> <script>passDisplay('sat araceli dont know', 'IIo')</script> </div></div></div><p>She shows no emotion. Perhaps she shows some signs of suppressing her emotions: turning her face away, raising a hand to touch her temple so I see even less of her. </p> <p>'I don't know,' she answers, and after another minute of silence and not letting me see her face, she adds: 'I can't tell if it's important for you. All these days you've been trying to say the things that you thought I would like, not the things that you would say. I know.'</p> <p>She's right.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> <script>addShow( "Ask her to trust me now.","wed do something", "That started to feel like an end.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>'I want something to do,' I say.</p> <p>'I'll give you something.'</p> <p>'Just something different from waiting.'</p> <p>She stands up. Then she's behind me and she covers my eyes.</p> <p>'I. Know.' </p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "'Do you have an idea?'","sat want here", "That was the beginning of the end.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>'I want you here. It's important to me. This is true.'</p> <p>She stares at me while I say that.</p> <p>'Then leave,' she whispers, and her tone suddenly softens. 'You can leave with me.'</p> <p>'I love you,' I say. I didn't think it in advance. I just don't give a damn. 'But I want to stay.'</p> <p>'We will work something out.'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Yes?","wed araceli angry", "I felt that perhaps she was right and I could leave with her.")</script><script>addShow( "No.","wed araceli angry", "I knew so well that she was wrong. I couldn't leave with her.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>'I'm angry,' Araceli says. 'Things won't get better and I want to break them. This place shouldn't exist, you said it yourself. I want to break it. I know you want that too. I've felt it in you from the beginning and it's the strongest thing we have in common. We want to break things.'</p> <p>She makes a circular gesture that spans everything arounds us, the half-metre tall brick walls and the two-meter tall walls that are absurdly painted white, the pristine curbs that no one has footed, the expensive-looking lampposts, much better than those at home.</p> <p>'And all of this is highly breakable,' she says.</p> <p>Again, I notice I'm smiling slightly.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Suppress my smile.","wed deface suppress", "I pretended not to like what she was saying because it felt worrying.")</script><script>addShow( "Laugh openly.","wed deface laugh", "I laughed when she said outrageous things.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>I try to make a believable serious face.</p> <script>passDisplay('wed deface', 'IoI')</script> </div></div></div><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>I laugh openly. She likes it.</p> <script>passDisplay('wed deface', 'IoI')</script> </div></div></div><p>'Let's deface a wall,' she says, and she shakes a paint spray can that I hadn't seen her pick. 'They won't know it happened during your shift. I came yesterday afternoon and I could have brought a whole orchestra to play a symphony. That watchman won't notice anything.'</p> <p>I realize I'm smiling, very, very slightly, but I'm sure she sees it. I make a serious face. I love it! But it will be very bad for me. </p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> <script>addShow( "'Fuck you.'","wed deface why", "I rudely told her to stick her ideas in some very dark place.")</script><script>addShow( "'No.'","wed deface why", "I just said no. I didn't need to say anything else.")</script><script>addShow( "'Why would I do that?'","wed deface why", "I asked why.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>'I guarantee it'll feel great,' says Araceli.</p> <p>'I know it will. So what?'</p> <p>'Don't you ever do anything just for fun?'</p> <p>'Not when I can't afford it. Will you get me a new job?'</p> <p>'I'll be your new job,' she whispers. </p> <p>'Why do you keep making fun of this?' I cry in frustration.</p> <p>Her expression amazes me. It's understanding and patronizing at the same time, if that makes any sense.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Tell her I won't do it.","mon araceli amazing", "I stood my ground and told her I wouldn't do it.")</script><script>addShow( "Tell her she doesn't understand the risk.","mon araceli amazing", "I tried to make her understand why I couldn't do it.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p>Araceli is so amazing. She's imposing. She makes me uncomfortable and nervous, no, I make myself uncomfortable and nervous in her presence. I want to cover myself completely and show only my best parts. Only one at a time. I don't know what to say right now, do I really have anything worth saying? What's on my mind?</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Tell her 'You're amazing.'","mon araceli ease", "I told her what impressed me the most about her.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastmon %></p><p>'You know what I find most amazing about you? That you can feel at ease in a place where you shouldn't be. The second I go into a place where someone might eventually perhaps question my presence, I feel like everyone already does. Can you show me how you do it?'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Wait.","wed no child", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastwed %></p><p>The conversation doesn't go well. I'm not making myself understood.</p> <p>'You are no child,' she says. 'You know what you can expect from me.'</p> <p>No. I don't know shit. I just suspect that she'll never do what I need from her. Whatever it is.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Wait.","sat amazing red", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>I kiss her. I want my desperation inside her stomach. Then she pushes my away, to look for something inside her backpack. She laughs when she takes it out.</p> <p>A paint spray can.</p> <p>'You're scary amazing,' I say.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Try the paint.","sat try paint", "She impressed me even when I should be angry.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>I shake the can, point it at a newspaper sheet and press down as briefly as I can. It's red, tacky garish red, damn "passion red". A hell of a sick girl.</p> <p>'Now go earn it,' she says. 'I'm so angry for you. I need to damage property. Paint something deeply insulting for the bastard.'</p> <p>I need that myself. But I still don't know.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Consider it.","sat consider paint", "I was torn inside. I thought about it a last time.")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p class='past'><%= s.lastsat %></p><p>This could well be the last thing we ever do together.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "But.","mon really knew", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p>What will she think of me? She has the air of a person in control of herself and her life. A person who can afford to waste her time, but she's never in need of doing it.</p> <p>What would she think of me if she really knew? That's the thought that has shaped my whole life. "If they really knew."</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Yes.","wed purpose", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IoI')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IoI' id='IoI'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Wednesday </p> <p>'I came here to try to recover some sense of purpose,' Araceli says. 'It hasn't worked, of course.'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Why.","mon easy bullshit", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('oII')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oII' id='oII'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Monday </p> <p>'Bullshitting you is so easy,' I say.</p> <p>She puts on an angry face and turns her back on me. Was that too far?</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "Quite.","interlude iii")</script><script>clearBlock('hero f125 past')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block hero f125 past' id='hero f125 past'><div class='block-content'> <p>I struggle to remember any details of the places I have been to and the people I have met. People who remember what they were wearing months ago amuse me.</p> <p>Araceli had a few freckles between her eyes. They were very faint the first days, darker at the end. Some details I couldn't pinpoint made her clothes seem old, like something from the eighties. </p> <p>If you saw a photo of Araceli today (look her up, it's easy), you'd say she's never had freckles or dressed like that.</p> <p>I remember so much of those days that it feels almost mistaken. It gives me the suspicion that it's mostly invented, and then another suspicion: that it wasn't invented by me. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "Then.","sat then")</script><script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p>'I'm not going to paint if you're not painting with me,' Araceli says.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Stand up.","sat stand up", "")</script><script>addShow( "Don't move.","sat not move", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p>I do nothing. Araceli looks at me for a while, then says 'It's okay.'</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Stand up.","sat stand up", "")</script><script>addShow( "Don't move.","sat not move 2", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p>The conversation ebbs and flows peacefully. A bit boring, colourless. I have a feeling that she wants to leave already and get it over with.</p> <p>I fiddle around with the paint can. If only.</p> <p class='hid opt'>. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Stand up.","sat stand up", "")</script><script>addShow( "Don't move.","sat not move 3", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p>'See you soon,' she says, moving her face just a centimetre away from me. Then she walks to the rack and picks her jacket.</p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Give her the paint can.","sat give paint", "")</script><script>addShow( "Stand up and raise the paper can.","sat stand raise", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p>I throw the can without warning, but she catches it in the air without a hesitation.</p> <p>'You know where I am,' I say.</p> <p>'It won't be long,' says Araceli, but she's not looking directly at me. </p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "'Sure. See you.'","ending")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p>I stand up, with the spray paint in my hand. Her expression (widening eyes, barely smiling mouth, head turned barely towards me) tells me of mischievous hope.</p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Give her the paint can.","sat give paint", "")</script><script>addShow( "Go vandalizing.","sat go vandal", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p>I stand up. We exchange looks from opposite corners of the room.</p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Sit down again.","sat sit again", "")</script><script>addShow( "Take the paint can and go.","sat stand take paint", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p>I take the paint can and show it to Araceli.</p> <p>'We go,' I say.</p> <p>She jumps.</p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Go vandalizing.","sat go vandal", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p>Think it better. Sit down again. Don't be a fool.</p> </div></div></div> <script>addShow( "Don't move.","sat not move 3", "")</script><script>fadeBlock('active')</script> <script>clearBlock('IIo')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block IIo' id='IIo'><div class='block-content'> <p class='diasemana'>Saturday </p> <p>I choose the wall.</p> <p>'You first,' says Araceli. Her hand moves up and down my back. 'It's your turf.'</p> <p>Red splashes the white wall. I start with a heart, of course.</p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "Keep painting.","ending")</script><p><video style="position: fixed; top:0; right:0; min-width:100vw;min-height: 100vh;" id="bgvid" playsinline autoplay muted src="img/paint.webm" type="video/webm"></video></p> <script>clearBlock('oI f125 past')</script><div class='narration'><div class='active block oI f125 past' id='oI f125 past'><div class='block-content'> <p>A bizarre feeling: it feels almost like exhaustion, but we can't remember any reason to be exhausted. So we think that something must be wrong within us, because we are trained to think like that. </p> <p>She wrote this years later. It didn't mention me but, when I read it, I knew she was thinking of me.</p> </div></div></div> <script>addOp( "END","start")</script>