
I:\beatmeupscotty\src>chcp 65001 
Active code page: 65001

I:\beatmeupscotty\src>b:\strands\strands -play play.txt   
Loading default story 'story'
Loaded file 'init.kl'
Welcome to “**Beat Me Up Scotty**”.

**Disclaimer:** 
This game has nothing to do with a certain TV and film production. Any similarity to persons dead, alive or _fictional_ is purely coincidental. And even if it isn't, there isn't a problem as this work is non-commercial fan art. Furthermore, this content consists exclusively of material that _didn't_ happen together with lines that were _never_ said. **So there!** Anybody still arguing will have to see the werewolf. **Werewolf?** Well yeah, why wouldn't there be a werewolf? I mean, it's not my fault if you keep thinking this is based on a sci-fi TV series. Anyway, werewolves are science fiction, aren't they? Or are they horror? Well, yeah definitely horror. Except for the comedies. But it's still a kind of science fiction. I guess. Now you've gone and confused me and I'm not sure. Hmm, well I'll just leave all that for you to decide. Anyway, let's get on with it…

**Content Warning:** Bad Language (especially bad writing), Blood and Gore, Alcohol abuse, Murder, Death, a Werewolf, Sex and Violence and Deception.

**Beat Me Up Scotty** by _Jkj Yuio_, v1.01. 
Strand 1.1.02 (GCC) Mar 29 2023/18:31:13, Core 1.09.

Do you want the intro?
(1) Yes
(2) No
? > No.
Good idea.

You're in a tough-guy biker bar. Everyone here looks mean AF. They've all got tats, knives and scars. Several of the [bikers](_BIKERS) are glancing your way, probably put out by your wussy yellow outfit and the general lack of black leather, studs and chains. [Spock](_SPOCK)'s gone to get the beers in and [Scotty](_SCOTTY)'s here talking shit as usual. You'd better do something fast!
> > Beat me up.

You scored a point! Scotty punches you squarely on the nose. Claret splatters everywhere! That _hurt!_ Next thing, you're both on the floor flailing about, punching wildly like schoolboys. How _dare_ he hit so hard, the **git**! The bikers laugh so hard they wet themselves. Well, at least you got out of that situation.
You're back on the ship in sickbay. [Blood](_BLOOD) spurts out in slow motion, you need to stop it, but you're toughing it out. Bones and the [nurses](_NURSES) are having a party. _Bastard_. Well, you did tell him there's be no need for medical whilst in orbit. [Scotty](_SCOTTY)'s not so good at the med stuff, but it'll have to do. After all, it was _his_ fault.
> > Bandage me up.
Scotty does his best to stem the blood. It's not great. How come he hasn't a scratch. He claims you're a southern softy.
You scored a point!
Suddenly you're summoned to the bridge urgently. Oh, not another crisis!
The ship is surrounded by Klingons. They've already taken out the warp drive and getting ready for the killshot. The situation is dire. Your mind flashes back to the [Corbormite Manoeuvre](_CORBORMITE). Self-destruct might be an option. You have to tell [Scotty](_SCOTTY) what to do. [Spock](_SPOCK) just stares into the scanner. [Bones](_BONES) is on the “medial” [terps](_TERPS) and already legless.
> > Blow me up.

You scored a point! You engage the ship's emergency self destruct sequence as a bluff to the Klingons, gambling they'll back off (why do ships always have a self-destruct?). 
Oh dear, it didn't work. The Klingons just laugh. For them it's a victory to be killed in battle. For amusement though, they allow you an extra few minutes before they open fire. And for Klaang to get the beers in.
Comms is down again. Just when you need to get a distress signal out. Most likely [Scotty](_SCOTTY)'s fiddling with the ship's computer again. Why cant he leave it alone. [Spock](_SPOCK) says Scotty's installing some critical security updates, but the the ship will need switching _off and on again_.
> > Boot me up.
You tell Scotty to pull the ship's power. It works! The Klingons are confused over what's going on. You nevertheless need to get out of there **fast**.
You scored a point!
You need warp speed in three minutes or you're all dead! Scotty's heard it all before. “No more deadlines in the sand.” But this time its for real. [Scotty](_SCOTTY) says he “canna' do it” unless he cuts corners. Something like, a big _massive_ [kludge](_KLUDGE).
> > Bodge me up.
Scotty re-routes the power through the air conditioning and pushes everything to max. It works, you have warp drive unless someone uses the bathroom hand dryer. You don't wait. While the Klingons are arguing, you zoom out of the quadrant. Phew! Another close shave. You decide to take it easy for a while.
You scored a point!
You're wandering the corridors. Randomly you learn Scotty and [Bones](_BONES) are organising a luxury holiday on a tropical planet island to get away from all the Starfleet BS. Even Spock is tempted. [Scotty](_SCOTTY)'s here and wants to know if you're interested.
> > Book me up.
Good plan. You're all set and decide to beam down. Spock's got his shades and Bones has his flip-flops and shorts.
You scored a point!
But, as usual, you beam down to the strange planet without properly checking it out first. [Bones](_BONES) isn't too bothered, there's only a mystery alien force trying to kill everyone. Two [red shirts](_REDSHIRT) are already dead. [Scotty](_SCOTTY) says it's _your fault_ and worse, he's the only one left wearing red.
> > Blame me up.
That as it might be, or not, you all have to get out. Rather than solve the mystery of the alien force, you all decide to **run away**. It was Spock's logical suggestion.
You scored a point!
Now you're stranded on a desert island. How did that happen. Anyway, [Spock](_SPOCK) thinks he can convert his [tricorder](_TRICORDER) into a teleporter. You know he's just bragging, it can't be done without at least 1.21 jiggwatts. [Bones](_BONES) is topping up his tan. [Scotty](_SCOTTY) thinks he's got a simple escape plan by building a [raft](_RAFT).
> > Boat me up.
You help Scotty cobble together a makeshift raft type boat from old logs, and you're set to go. Spock calculates the chances of sinking are 92.7%. Bones isn't impressed. You tell them to get a grip and get with it. Reluctantly, you all set sail. 
Moments later, the raft is sinking. Luckily Spock has managed to get a communicator fix using the tricorder as a booster. Just as the raft is sinking into the mud, you're all beamed up. Wow, that was close!
You scored a point!
Bad news. You're on trial for insubordination, **again**. Things aren't going too well this time. You've been accused of using Starfleet equipment for personal use (as usual). You come up with a half-baked excuse and smile a lot, but they're not buying it. You need [Scotty](_SCOTTY) to _vouch for you_.
> > Back me up.
Scotty gives testimony that, for _whatever_ you're accused of, there was **no** other option and, if you didn't do _whatever_ you did, it would be **the end of life as we know it**. 
Amazingly, they believe him, and you're let off and given another medal! To celebrate, you all go to the Starfleet bar to get properly plastered.
You scored a point!
You're in the Starfleet bar, reminiscing the good old days with [Scotty](_SCOTTY). Bones is under the table and [Spock](_SPOCK)'s on that [weird blue liquor](_LIQUOR). Scotty's sunk 6 expensive [whiskys](_WHISKY) already and your glass is empty and it's _his round_.
> > Beer me up.
Scotty finally gets the beers in. After getting tanked up, you all think it's a good idea go to the disco.
You scored a point!
You're in the _retro_ disco. [Bones](_BONES) says he can do the moonwalk. [Spock](_SPOCK) drily points out you've already been to the moon. [Scotty](_SCOTTY) says he can show you some new moves to _strut your stuff_.
> > Boogie me up.

You scored a point! Next day, you're back to work in the captain's chair. Your head hurts.
Scotty's learning the [violin](_VIOLIN). It's **awful**. A cross between someone strangling a cat and scraping a school blackboard with your nails. Everyone's being driven crazy by it. Bones has anaesthetised himself and [Uhura](_UHURA) has put her head in a bucket of water. Even [Spock](_SPOCK) is cussing the science [computer](_COMPUTER). You told [Scotty](_SCOTTY) he has to stop but he's got the right hump. Unless you can suggest a better _instrument_ for him to play, he's going to down tools. Perhaps something **traditional**.
> > Bagpipe me up.
It worked! Scotty's switched to the bagpipes. His playing is _still_ terrible. He's now strutting along the ship's corridors playing “A Long Way To The Top”. Thankfully, it's restricted to the engineering decks.
You scored a point!
Back on the bridge, you're hoping for some peace and quiet, just casual space cruising. **But no**. Apparently, Lt. [Uhura](_UHURA) has turned into a werewolf. _Huh?_ It seems though, she's still at her communications post. [Spock](_SPOCK) says she's fine apart from eating raw meat, which is _totally_ “logical”. And “fascinating”. Bones is hiding. He's refused to treat her citing, “it's beyond science”, “she's dead Jim” and shit like that. [Scotty](_SCOTTY) says there's a [herb](_HERB) you should get to avoid being bitten.
> > Bane me up.
You load up on wolfbane. Pongs a bit, but it's a long shot that might just work. One good thing, Commodore Wesley was on the blower with some timewasting mission delivering cheese, but Uhura just roared at him. And, just like that, he was _gone!_
You scored a point!
You're in the gym with [Scotty](_SCOTTY), [Bones](_BONES) and [Spock](_SPOCK). Spock says he doesn't need a workout as he's much stronger anyway, but Scotty points out he still looks a weed. Bones complains he's a hard gainer. Scotty's doing some serious weights, you gotta' find out his secret.
> > Beef me up.
Scotty tells you that it's _no pain, no gain_. But you're sure there's more to his technique. You'll find out somehow.
You scored a point!
Scotty claims he's not only bulked up, but the most **senior engineer** in Starfleet. After all didn't he invent the trans-warp drive? He reckons captaining a ship is an _absolute doddle_. You consider letting **him** take the captain's chair and give orders for a while, see how _he_ likes it.
> > Boss me up.
Scotty doesn't like it in the captain's chair. He fidgets. And It's the wrong height, and there aren't enough controls to fiddle with. Scotty's bored and announces he's going shopping. Bones and Spock are on it.
You scored a point!
You're all at the shopping mall. [Bones](_BONES) has scored some kick-ass [shoes](_SHOES) and [Spock](_SPOCK)'s got a new [tricorder](_TRICORDER) [bag](_BAG). [Scotty](_SCOTTY) says he knows a discount warehouse outlet with a super **sale** on.
> > Bargain me up.

You scored a point! **Three** hours later, you're all loaded up with shopping bags trying to re-locate the car park. Scotty's found his wheels. Yours must be near somewhere.
You're back on the road. With the bonus you got from saving the world again, you've got yourself a 1980s [Volvo](_VOLVO). [Scotty](_SCOTTY)'s got one too, but his is pimped up and tuned with red plush and flames. The **flash git**. You're both waiting at the [traffic lights](_LIGHTS) for the green. Scotty's _revving his engine, ready to go_.
> > Burn me up.

You scored a point! Scotty wheel-spins away, leaving you in the dust.

 You got to the end! 
Congratulations on finishing the game. You're lucky I wrote this bit because I never expected anyone to put up with this nonsense for this long. 
**Well done.**Your score is 100%.
Oh wait, I nearly forgot. What about the sex and violence you've been waiting for?
(1) Continue
? > Continue.

**You're going to have use your imagination!** But congrats!
Game Over.
