# Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 158 of 235

## One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

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Book One - "Divine Eris"

Divine Eris is a woman. She is in the Game Room. She is godly. "A smiling goddess stands here: she is a chunky brunette with shiny black wings. It must be Eris." The description of Divine Eris is "As god-looking as ever." After examining Divine Eris for the first time, now the description of Divine Eris is "As good-looking as ever, which isn't really a surprise, seeing as how you're a goddess and all. You usually take the form of a slightly chunky brunette, with big black wings." Understand "chunky", "slightly", "slightly-chunky", "goddess", "brunette", "Discord", and "Discordia" as Divine Eris. The default reply of Divine Eris is "'Don't want to talk about that. Bored now.'" The conversation of Divine Eris is the Table of Erisian Chatter.

The big black wings are a part of Divine Eris. The description is "The wings are blue-black and covered in iridescent feathers. It's a neat effect." Understand "feather", "feathers", "luxuriant", and "iridescent" as the big black wings.

Erisian black hair is part of Divine Eris. The description is "Your hair is shoulder-length and black." The printed name is "black hair".

The basic black dress is a garment worn by Divine Eris. The description is "It's a basic black dress. Nothing fancy. This sets it apart from the raiment of your fellow gods, who tend to go in for the tawdry and gaudy."

Some blisters are things. They are ambiguously plural. The description is "Ow. Ow ow ow." Instead of dropping the blisters, say "If only it were that easy." Understand "blister", "hand", and "hands" as the blisters. Instead of tasting the blisters, say "Salty. Ow ow ow." Instead of smelling the blisters, try smelling the god-spooge.

Instead of looking under the basic black dress when the player is Divine Eris:

if the basic black dress is worn by Eris, instead say "That is all you in there[80 as a reference].";

say "There's nothing under the black dress."

Instead of looking under the basic black dress:

say "Eris glares at you, presses her knees together, and shuffles aside."

Instead of searching the basic black dress, try looking under the basic black dress.

Instead of taking off the basic black dress when the player is Divine Eris:

If Argus is not warned_about, instead say "You have no particular desire to disrobe.";

If Argus is not boinked, instead say "You're not about to give the bastard the satisfaction. He doesn't get to watch as well as do.";

say "No way. Argus got what he came for. He's not going to get a free show too."

Check wanking when the player is Divine Eris:

If Argus is not warned_about, instead say "You're not really in the mood.";

If Argus is not boinked, instead try taking off the basic black dress;

instead say "Really, really, no. Ouch."

Check fucking Eris when the player is Divine Eris:

instead try wanking.

[ The rest of Eris is in the Olympus section where Stiffy will encounter her. ]