# Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 32 of 235

## One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

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Volume Two - "In Medias Res"

The Golden Banana of Discord is a thing. "[if the golden banana is warned_about]The Golden Banana of Discord glistens with its own ineffable radiance[otherwise]A single metallic banana, in a brass sheath with bronze spots, adorns the very tip of the tree. This can be nothing other than the Golden Banana of Discord[end if]." The indefinite article of the golden banana is "the". The description is "The Golden Banana Of Discord is about ten inches from tip to tip. It's slightly curved. [if the golden banana is warned_about]Its brass-and-bronze peel has been split away, revealing the golden fruit within. In short, a banana, made out of gold[otherwise]You can't actually see whether it's really golden, because it is covered in a brass peel with bronze spots[end if]."

Check eating the golden banana: instead say "It's both metal and a unique holy relic. Neither one of these things makes it very appetizing." Check wanking off the Golden Banana: instead say "You give the banana a few experimental strokes, but nothing much happens." Check tasting the golden banana: instead say "Metallic." Check sucking the golden banana: instead say "It's the right shape, but cold and metallic." Check rubbing the golden banana: instead try wanking off the golden banana.

Check peeling the golden banana:

if the golden banana is warned_about, instead say "The banana has already been peeled.";

say "You are nowhere near strong enough to pry the brass-and-bronze sheath apart.";

stop the action.

Check attacking the golden banana with the rusty machete:

if the golden banana is warned_about, instead try peeling the golden banana;

say "Sparks shower from the edge of the machete as you attempt to hack the banana's sheath with it, but the banana's peel remains unharmed.";

stop the action.

Understand "curved", "ten", "inch", "inches", "gold", "brass", "bronze", "peel", "sheath", "spotted", and "spots" as the Golden Banana of Discord. Does the player mean doing something with the Golden Banana: it is very likely.