# Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 101 of 235

## One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

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Part Two - "Jonah's Museum"

Jonah's Museum is a room. It is south of Jaffa. The description of Jonah's Museum is "As museums go, this is an exceptionally lame one It consists of a sad paper-mache whale resting against the west wall, built on a framework of wire, with a wide-open mouth large enough to enter, a dummy of a man with a huge beard wearing a tallis, and a map showing Jaffa and Nineveh, with 'Tarshish' written next to a big question mark. There's a gift shop to the south, but it doesn't look much better." Jonah's Museum is outside from Fake Whale Interior.

The scenery_Jonah is scenery in Jonah's Museum. The scenery_Jonah can be male. The description is "Presumably this is Jonah, who was swallowed by the whale. It's a poorly-made mannequin wearing an ill-fitting brown robe, a badly-dyed tallis, and a huge beard." Understand "figure", "bad", "badly", "dyed", "badly-dyed", "dummy", "statue", "mannequin", "Jonah", and "poorly-made" as the scenery_Jonah. Instead of rubbing, kissing, fucking, blowing, sucking, wanking off, or buggering the scenery_Jonah, say "The figure is not that anatomically correct."

The scenery_Jonah_accoutrements is part of the scenery_Jonah. It is ambiguously plural. The description is "On closer inspection, the clothing and beard are just painted on." Understand "paint", "robe", "brown", "ill-fitting", "moth-eaten", "tallis", "huge", "beard", "clothes", and "clothing" as the scenery_Jonah_accoutrements.

The scenery_map is scenery in Jonah's Museum. The description is "The map shows Jaffa, with a big 'You Are Here' arrow, Nineveh very far away in Assyria, and Tarshish's location unknown. It's not very helpful." Understand "map", "Jaffa", "Nineveh", "Tarshish", "Assyria", and "arrow" as the scenery_map.

The scenery_fake_whale is scenery in Jonah's Museum. The scenery_fake_whale can be enterable. It is enterable. The description is "The paper-mache whale is about twenty feet long, five feet high, and five feet across. It has a wide-open mouth, into which you can climb; a small sign promises a 'multi-sensory extravaganza' if you do. It carries a faint smell of dead fish." The printed name is "paper-mache whale". Understand "paper", "mache", "shoddy", "paper-mache", "whale", "fake", "sad", and "leviathan" as the scenery_fake_whale. Instead of smelling the scenery_fake_whale, say "Fishy." Instead of tasting the scenery_fake_whale, say "It tastes like paper and paste." Instead of blowing the scenery_fake_whale, say "That's a ripoff. No blowhole." Instead of fucking the scenery_fake_whale:

if the stiffycock is not visible, instead say "You are not undressed for the occasion.";

try blowing the scenery_fake_whale.

Instead of buggering the scenery_fake_whale, try blowing the scenery_fake_whale. Instead of touching or rubbing the scenery_fake_whale, say "It feels exactly like shoddy paper-mache." Instead of kissing the scenery_fake_whale:

say "You fall in as you try to kiss the whale.";

try going south.

Instead of entering the scenery_fake_whale, try going west.

The fake_whale_mouth is a door. It is scenery. The printed name is "whale mouth". It is not openable. It is open. It is not lockable. It is unlocked. The description is "The whale's mouth connects the museum and the inside of the whale." The fake_whale_mouth is west of Jonah's Museum and east of Fake Whale Interior. Understand "mouth" and "maw" as the fake_whale_mouth.

Fake Whale Interior is a room. It is inside from Jonah's museum. The description is "A little light trickles in from holes in the whale's paper-mache skin. It smells of dead fish in this cramped, warm, humid space. The mouth opens to the east." Instead of smelling when the location is the Fake Whale Interior, try smelling the whale_interior_scenery.

The whale_interior_scenery is scenery in the Fake Whale Interior. The printed name is "whale interior". The description is "Inside the whale, very little attempt has been made to disguise the fact that the whale is a shoddy paper-mache-over-wire construction. It is dim, warm, and wet in here, and reeks of rotten fish." Instead of smelling the whale_interior_scenery, say "The stench of rotten fish is overpowering." Understand "dim", "whale", "interior", "warm", "humid", "wet", "inside", "paper", "paste", "anchovy", "anchovies", "paper-mache", "wire", "fish", "rotten", "stench", and "leviathan" as the whale_interior_scenery. Instead of tasting the whale_interior_scenery, say "It tastes of paper, paste, and, ugh, anchovies."

The scenery_shop is scenery in Jonah's Museum. The printed name is "gift shop". The description is "A dim and unprepossessing gift shop lurks just to the south." Understand "gift" and "shop" as the scenery_shop. The scenery_shop can be enterable. It is enterable. Instead of entering the scenery_shop, try going south. Instead of doing anything other than examining or entering with the scenery_shop, say "You could enter the shop to the south."