# Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 145 of 235

## One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

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Part One - "The Pirate Captain"

The pirate captain is a man. "A foppish, but attractive, man lounges here, idly playing with the many rings adorning his fingers. He has a neat black moustache and a goatee, as well as far too much eyeliner. He wears a black tricorner hat, and has beads braided into his hair. His shirt is impractically ruffled, and he carries a wickedly-curved cutlass." The description is "The pirate captain's eyebrows have apparently been plucked to give them a saucy, impertinent shape. His eyeliner glistens in the sun, and his shirt is artfully unbuttoned to expose his hairless and delectable chest. He's really quite sexy, as murderous sea-marauders go. From the way he carries his sword you're quite sure he knows how to employ it." The indefinite article is "the". Understand "Jack", "Sparrow", "Johnny", "Depp", "man", "sexy", "swashbuckler", and "swishbuckler" as the pirate captain. The Pirate Captain is unspeakable. The default reply of the pirate captain is "The pirate captain just leers at you."

Rule for deciding the concealed possessions of the pirate captain: no. Does the player mean doing something with the pirate captain: it is likely.

The cutlass is held by the pirate captain. The description is "The cutlass curves slightly. It has a brass grip and a shiny steel blade." Understand "sword", "brass", "steel", "grip", "blade", "wicked", "curved", "wickedly", and "wickedly-curved" as the cutlass.

The black tricorner hat is an ornament. It is worn by the pirate captain. The description is "The tricorner hat is made of black leather, and sports a silver skull-and-crossbones emblem." Understand "leather", "silver", "skull", "crossbones", "skull-and-crossbones", "emblem", "tri-corner", "tri", "corner", and "cap" as the black tricorner hat.

Some colorful glass beads are ornaments. They are worn by the pirate captain. The description is "Glass beads of many colors are braided into the captain's black hair." Understand "many", "color", "colored", "many-colored", "braided", and "braid" as the colorful glass beads.

The pirate captain's impractically ruffled white shirt is an ornament. It is worn by the pirate captain. The description is "The white shirt is impractically ruffled, and is surprisingly clean considering the fact that it's being worn by a pirate. It is artfully unbuttoned to expose his tanned and hairless chest." Understand "clean", "unbuttoned", and "artfully" as the pirate captain's impractically ruffled white shirt.

The pirate captain's tanned chest is a part of the pirate captain. The description is "The pirate captain's hairless, smooth, tanned, and it must be said, delectably sexy chest is visible under his artfully-unbuttoned shirt." Understand "hairless", "smooth", "delectable", and "delectably" as the pirate captain's tanned chest.

Some pirate captain's rings are ornaments. They are worn by the pirate captain. The description is "Gold rings, encrusted with gemstones, adorn the pirate captain's fingers." Understand "gold", "ring", "gem", "gems", "gemstones", "stone", "stones", "jewel", "jewels" as the pirate captain's rings.

The pirate captain's black hair is part of the pirate captain. Understand "moustache", "trimmed", "neat", "neatly", "neatly-trimmed", "beard", "goatee", "flowing", "ringlets", "impressive", "coiffure", and "long" as the pirate captain's black hair. The description is "The captain's long, flowing black hair accentuates his neatly-trimmed moustache and goatee. It's a rather impressive coiffure for a pirate."

Some pirate captain's boots are ornaments. They are worn by the pirate captain. They are ambiguously plural. The description is "Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather[78 as a footnote]." Understand "boot", "heel", "heels", "shiny", and "leather" as the pirate captain's boots.

The pirate captain's erection is a penis. The description is "The pirate captain's erection throbs with vivid purple veins." Understand "vivid", "purple", "hardon", "hard-on", "vein", "veins", "rod", "junk", "prick", "wang", "dick", "schween", "passer", "sparrow", "schlong", "pecker", "genitals", "penis", and "cock" as the pirate captain's erection.