# Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 111 of 235

## One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

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Part One - "Miscellaneous Geography"

Alexandrine Wharf is an Alexandrian street. "This is the Alexandrine Wharf. Across the harbor some distance to the north you can see the Pharos lighthouse. The Great Museum is some distance to your east, across a busy street. [italic type]The Golden Ass[roman type] is anchored to the west."

Instead of going west in Alexandrine Wharf, follow the all-aboard-the-ass rule. Instead of going north in Alexandrine Wharf, say "Swimming the harbor is not in your plans for today."

By The Museum is an Alexandrian street. It is east from Alexandrine Wharf. "You stand on the Street of the Soma, a little north of its intersection with the Canopic Way. The Great Museum is to your east. Off to the north a little way you can see Cleopatra's palace. Alexandria's commercial docks are to the west." Instead of going inside in By The Museum, try going east.

Intersection is an Alexandrian street. It is south from By The Museum. "Here the Canopic Way, stretching from the Gate of the Moon in the west to the Gate of the Sun in the east, crosses the Street of the Soma, which runs from the Great Harbor, north, to the Lake Harbor, south."

Canopic Way is an Alexandrian Street. It is west from the Intersection. "The Canopic Way parallels the harbor here, running east and west. Far to the north, the Pharos rises above the Great Harbor. The Temple of Serapis is to your south." Instead of going inside in Canopic Way, try going south.

Western Canopic Way is an Alexandrian street. It is west from the Canopic Way. "The grand causeway, known as the Heptastadion, stretches across the harbor to the north. To the west, the Gate of the Moon opens onto the Western Cemetery." Instead of going west in the Western Canopic Way, say "You have no real desire to wander among the unquiet dead." Instead of going outside in the Western Canopic Way, try going west.

Heptastadion is an Alexandrian street. It is north from Western Canopic Way. "You stand on a causeway seven stades[emdash]nearly a mile[emdash]long, connecting the Island of Pharos to the mainland."

Isle of Pharos is an Alexandrian street. It is north from the Heptastadion. "The great lighthouse towers above you; its door is to the east. To the south, the long causeway leads back to Alexandria proper." Instead of going inside in Isle of Pharos, try going east. Instead of going up in Isle of Pharos, try going east.

The scenery_near_pharos is scenery in the Isle of Pharos. The printed name is "Pharos". The description is "The Pharos lighthouse towers above you. You can enter it to the east." Understand "pharos", "lighthouse", "tall", and "towering" as the scenery_near_pharos.

Gate of the Sun is an Alexandrian street. It is east from the Intersection. "Here the Gate of the Sun frames a small bridge over a canal, just outside the city wall." Instead of going east in the Gate of the Sun, say "You have no desire to trudge through the Egyptian heat; if you want to travel, you should hire a boatman. There are none in evidence." Instead of going north in the Gate of the Sun, try going east. Instead of going south in the Gate of the Sun, try going east. Instead of going outside in the Gate of the Sun, try going east. Instead of going inside in the Gate of the Sun, try going west.

The scenery_gate_of_the_sun is scenery in Gate of the Sun. The printed name is "Gate of the Sun". The description is "The Gate of the Sun forms the eastern gate of the walled city. It's, well, it's a city gate. Not that impressive to someone raised in Rome, alas." Understand "Gate", "Sun", and "Gate of the Sun" as the scenery_gate_of_the_sun.

The scenery_canal is scenery in the Gate of the Sun. The printed name is "canal". The description is "A small bridge spans the canal here, which is devoid of boats. To the east stretch Alexandria's suburbs, petering out eventually into desert." Understand "small", "bridge", "span", "canal", "boat", "boats", "suburb", "suburbs", "boatman", and "desert" as the scenery_canal.

Lake Harbor is an Alexandrian street. It is south from the Intersection. "The street ends here at the Lake Harbor, where brightly-painted pleasure craft litter the water. To the east stands a somewhat seedy resort, billing itself as the 'Hotel Metropole.'" Instead of going inside in Lake Harbor, try going east.

The lake_harbor_scenery is scenery in Lake Harbor. The printed name is "Lake Harbor". The indefinite article is "the". The description is "Bright boats litter the water." Understand "craft", "pleasure", "bright", "brightly", "brightly-painted", "painted", "boat", "boats", "water", and "litter" as the lake_harbor_scenery. The lake_harbor_scenery can be enterable. The lake_harbor_scenery is enterable. Instead of entering the lake_harbor_scenery, say "No boats are close enough for you to board."

The hotel_metropole_scenery is scenery in Lake harbor. The printed name is "Hotel Metropole". The indefinite article is "the". The description is "It's a shabby, seedy hotel on the east side of the street." Understand "shabby", "seedy", "hotel", and "metropole" as the hotel_metropole_scenery.

The museum_scenery is a backdrop in Alexandrine Wharf. It is in By the Museum. The printed name is "museum". Understand "complex", "interconnected", "building", "buildings", "great", "museum", "library", "muse", "muses", and "birdcage" as museum_scenery. The indefinite article is "the". The description is "Off to the east stretches the Great Museum, a complex of interconnected buildings."