# Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 172 of 235

## One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

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Part Five - "Plaza"

Chapter One - "Plaza"

The Plaza is north of the Unreal City. The description is "An empty plaza of gray tile stretches in all directions, descending slightly into a western slum; seedy apartments crowd the plaza to the east. An open gate lies to the north[if Cerberus is in the location], guarded by a terrifying, enormous, three-headed dog[end if]. A milk-white obelisk stretches skyward. The city stretches off to the south." Instead of going down in the Plaza, try going west.

Instead of going north from the Plaza in the presence of Cerberus: say "Cerberus lunges towards you menacingly, and you hastily retreat."

The obelisk is scenery in the Plaza. The description is "A milk-white obelisk, covered in arcane and impenetrable runes, stretches into the low brown sky." Understand "milk", "milk-white", and "white" as the obelisk. Instead of fucking the obelisk, try fucking the runes.

The runes are scenery in the Plaza. The description is "[if Unicode compliance is 1][Runic-impenetrable]: impenetrable[otherwise]Impenetrable[end if]." Understand "arcane" and "impenetrable" as the runes. Before fucking the runes: if the stiffycock is held by the player, instead say "The runes are impenetrable."

The scenery_city is scenery in the Plaza. The description is "Dark-suited men bustle to and fro throughout the city to the south." Understand "city" as scenery_city. The printed name is "Unreal City".

The scenery_gate is a backdrop in the Plaza. It is in the Slough of Despond. The printed name is "gate". The description is "The gate is a stone arch about fifteen yards high and thirty wide; huge iron doors, swung wide, open to the outside. [if the location is the Plaza]Beyond it stretches a flat, dull-green moor[otherwise]The plaza is visible through it[end if]." Understand "gate", "stone", "iron", "door", "doors", "northern", and "arch" as the scenery_gate. The scenery_gate can be openable. It is openable. Instead of opening or closing the scenery_gate:

if Cerberus is in the Plaza, instead say "The dog will not let you near.";

say "The doors are far, far too heavy for you to open or shut."

The scenery_moor is scenery in the Plaza. The description is "The moor stretches beyond the gate, dull-green and monotonous[if the cacodemon is in the Slough of Despond]. Something bright red and globular bobs in the air perhaps a hundred yards from the gate[end if]." Understand "moor", "flat", "dull", "green", "dull-green" and "monotoous" as the scenery_moor. The printed name is "moor".

The scenery_cacodemon is scenery in the Plaza. The printed name is "red globe". The description is "Whatever it is, it's globular, bright red, and about six feet across." Understand "globular", "globe", "bright", "red", and "sphere" as the scenery_cacodemon.

The scenery_wall is a backdrop in the Plaza. It is in the Slough of Despond. The description is "The city wall is made of gray stone and is about sixty feet high." Understand "wall", "gray", "grey", "stone", and "city" as the scenery_wall. The printed name is "wall".

Before going west from the Plaza in the presence of Madame Sosostris, say "Madame Sosostris says, 'You go play with Tiresias and the Dougs. I'll wait here for you.'";