# Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 18 of 235

## One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

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Part Six - "The World Of Stiffy"

Virginity is a kind of value. The virginities are boinked and unboinked. A person has a virginity. A person is usually unboinked.

Dejavu is a kind of value. The dejavus are fresh and familiar. The current dejavuity is a dejavu that varies. The current dejavuity is fresh.

Speakability is a kind of value. The speakabilities are speakable and unspeakable. A person has a speakability. A person is usually speakable. An animal is usually unspeakable.

Godliness is a kind of value. The godlinesses are godly and ungodly. A person has a godliness. A person is usually ungodly.

Cleanliness is a kind of value. The cleanlinesses are sparkling, cleanish, and filthy.

Footnote_explained is a number that varies. Footnote_explained is 0.

Reference_explained is a number that varies. Reference_explained is 0.

JDM is some text that varies. JDM is "placeholder".

A book is a kind of thing. Understand "book" as a book. A book has a table-name called the contents.

The banana clock is a number that varies. The banana clock is 0.

The froghemoth clock is a number that varies. The froghemoth clock is 0.

The baboon clock is a number that varies. The baboon clock is 0.

The nudity clock is a number that varies. The nudity clock is 0.

The pirate clock is a number that varies. The pirate clock is 0.

The baboon disputation item is a thing that varies. The baboon disputation item is Brandon Van Every.

The encumbered action is some text that varies. The encumbered action is "swimming".

Check consulting a book about a topic listed in the contents of the noun:

say "[reply entry][paragraph break]"

A garment is a kind of thing. A garment is always wearable. An ornament is a kind of thing. An ornament is always wearable. A garment has a cleanliness. A garment is usually cleanish. A garment has a number called warmth. The warmth of a garment is usually 2.

[We use this to distinguish clothes, which hide a person's shame (by which we mean his or her genitalia) from ornaments, which do not.]

A penis is a kind of thing. The description is "Just an ordinary penis. You've seen lots of them." Understand "rod", "dong", "nethers", "junk", "prick", "wang", "dick", "schween", "passer", "sparrow", "schlong", "pecker", "genitals", "penis", and "cock" as penis.

A vagina is a kind of container. The description is "Just an ordinary vagina. You've seen lots of them." Understand "cunt", "pussy", "twat", "labia", "vulva", "clitoris", "bush", "pudenda", and "slit" as vagina.

An anus is a kind of container. The description is "Just an ordinary anus. You've seen lots of them." Understand "ass", "asshole", "sphincter", "arsehole", "arse", "butt", "butthole", "bunghole", and "rectum" as anus.

A clappiness is a kind of value. The clappinesses are diseased and healthy. A penis has a clappiness. A penis is usually healthy.

Sky_scenery is a kind of backdrop. The description is "It's the sky." The printed name is "sky". Understand "sky" and "weather" as sky_scenery. Instead of doing anything other than examining with the sky_scenery, say "It's much, much too far away."

Floor_scenery is a kind of backdrop. The description is "It's underfoot." The printed name is "floor". Understand "floor" as floor_scenery. Instead of doing anything other than examining with the floor_scenery, say "If it were going to be interesting, it would have started before now."

Generic_sky_scenery is a sky_scenery.

An alley is a kind of room. Before dropping something that is not the stiffycock in an alley:

if the location is warned_about

begin;

say "Before you can blink, a street urchin scuttles by on ragged claws, snatches [the noun] and disappears.";

remove the noun from play;

otherwise;

now the location is warned_about;

say "You're pretty sure that anything you dropped in an alley like this one would never be seen (by you, anyway) again.";

end if.

A sewer_room is a kind of room. A sewer_room is usually dark. The printed name is "Somewhere Under Ostia". Check dropping something that is not the stiffycock in a sewer_room:

if the location is warned_about

begin;

if the noun is the signet ring and the Poop Deck is not warned_about

begin;

say "That would be exceptionally stupid.";

stop the action;

end if;

say "With a forlorn 'bloop', [the noun] vanishes into the sewage.";

remove the noun from play;

if the noun is the toga

begin;

say "(You can always ask Festus to bring you a new toga.)";

end if;

if the noun is the iron key and the iron grate is locked

begin;

say "Something swirls deep in the dank sewage, and the key suddenly rockets out of the water to land on the bank.";

move the iron key to the location;

end if;

if the noun is the invitation token

begin;

say "A bubble of gas pops to the surface. As it bursts, you hear the glutinous voice of Glub say 'Thanks,' and the signet ring flies out to land on the bank.";

move the signet ring to the location;

end if;

otherwise;

now the location is warned_about;

say "If you drop anything into the muck, it's gone forever.";

end if.

A special_sewer_room is a kind of sewer_room. A generic_sewer_room is a kind of sewer_room.

The global_darkness_counter is a number that varies. The global_darkness_counter is 0. The global_pirate_attack_flag is a number that varies. The global_pirate_attack_flag is 0.

Sewage is a backdrop. The description is "Black, murky, stinky sewage swirls slowly around the base of the sewer." Understand "black", "murky", "stinky", "water", "shit", "piss", "pee", "poop", "muck", "sludge", "mire", "dirty", "dank", "soapy", "warm", "hot", "channel", "base", "bottom", "slime", and "feces" as sewage. Check searching the sewage: instead say "In a word, no." Instead of doing anything other than examining or searching with the sewage, say "The thought of any more interaction with the sewage than strictly required is revolting."

Sewer_ceiling is a sky_scenery. The description is "Dark stone, caked with slime, looms overhead." The printed name of sewer_ceiling is "tunnel ceiling". Understand "ceiling", "stone", "dark", "caked", "slime", and "overhead" as the sewer_ceiling.

[ Any name with an _ in it will be ignored; thanks to Kathleen Fischer for this ]

After reading a command:

let T be indexed text;

let T be the player's command;

replace the text "_" in T with "__";

change the text of the player's command to T.

A water_room is a kind of room.

A jungle yummy is a kind of thing. A jungle yummy is always edible. Check rolling a jungle yummy:

if the location is a water_room, instead say "You revolve [the noun] in the water. Bravo.";

say "You push [the noun] around a bit. It rolls. Hooray."

Limbo is a room. The printed name is "". The description is "".

Metaphysics is a region. Limbo is in Metaphysics.

Ponciness is a kind of value. The poncinesses are poncy and philistinic. The current ponciness is a ponciness that varies. The current ponciness is poncy.

Referentiality is a kind of value. The referentialities are referential and mum. The current referentiality is a referentiality that varies. The current referentiality is referential.

Horniness is a kind of value. The horninesses are horny and unaroused.

First_footnote is a thing. First_reference is a thing. First_conversation is a thing.

Before reading a command while footnote_explained is 1:

say "[bracket]To look up a footnote, use FOOTNOTE [italic type]number-of-footnote[roman type][close bracket][paragraph break]";

now footnote_explained is 0.

Before reading a command while reference_explained is 1:

say "[bracket]To look up a reference, use REFERENCE [italic type]number-of-reference[roman type][close bracket][paragraph break]";

now reference_explained is 0.