# Stiffy Makane: Apocolocyntosis — 77 of 235

## One of the Bruces and Drunken Bastard

Release 1

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Part Three - "Shipboard Rules"

This is the swap-Carthage-and-Syracuse rule:

choose row with expected-port-name of "Syracuse" in the Table of Ports;

now the port-name entry is "Carthage";

now the flavor-text entry is ", but as you near Syracuse, a sudden squall comes up and carries the [italic type]Golden Ass[roman type] far to the west, finally petering out not far from Carthage, to which you proceed instead. Speaking of petering out, you notice that your urination has become incredibly painful. Maybe there will be a doctor who can help in Carthage.";

now the disembarkation-location entry is Carthage;

choose row with expected-port-name of "Carthage" in the Table of Ports;

now the port-name entry is "Carthage";

now the flavor-text entry is ", steering you uneventfully to Carthage. Well, mostly uneventfully. The trip itself is fine, but it sure does hurt now when you pee. Maybe someone in Carthage will be able to help.";

now the disembarkation-location entry is Carthage;

This is the check-for-diseases rule:

if the destination of the gangway is "Carthage" and Archie is boinked and the stiffycock is healthy and Carthage is not warned_about

begin;

now the stiffycock is diseased;

if the stiffycock is visible, move the greenish pus to the player;

end if.

This is the here-come-da-whale rule:

say ". Only a few hours out of port, the sky darkens; rain begins to fall and the ocean becomes choppy. Then a gigantic voice speaks from the thunderstorm: 'Jonah, I told you to get yourself to Nineveh and preach! [if the location has been Real Whale Interior]How many times do I have to command you?[run paragraph on][otherwise]And now I find you trying to flee Me![run paragraph on][end if]'[line break][paragraph break]";

say "A whale leaps from the sea, directly across the ship's deck, neatly plucking you from it as it sails overhead. With a gulp, you are swallowed.[paragraph break]";

now the fake beard is not_warned_about;

move the player to Real Whale Interior.