<<if $House_Destroyed is false>>Your apartment is a battleground now that the mouse has moved in. Not even [[the bed|Bed2]] feels safe. The douchemouse has set up [[his house|Mouse House]] next to your [[crappy desk|Desk2]].\n\nThe mouse's inane chattering over his [[rotten fruit|Rotten Fruit]] sickens you. You just //know// the smell wafts out of [[the window|Window2]].<<else if $House_Destroyed is true>>Now that the mouse's reign of terror has ended, you can relax now. [[Your bed|Bed2]] is safe again, [[the window|Window2]] brings you joy once more, and even your [[desk|Desk2]] feels less like a sack of garbage.\n\n<<if $Has_Fruit is false>>Best of all, since the mouse killed himself, you can take [[his fruit|Rotten Fruit]] with impunity. Score!<<endif>><<endif>>
<<set $House_Destroyed to true>>Wow, you musta made that mouse throw //himself// out the window!! You had no idea you could do that. That is rad-tacular.\n\nPumped up from your victory, you [[take another look at your apartment|Home2]].
//Hrrrmmgh!!// Try as you might, the window doesn't want to slide open. It seems there's a bit of gum stuck to the slidey part. If you could just get it out...\n\nMaybe there's something that could help you [[on the rest of the bus?|On the Bus to Work]]
People bore you. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul, but that can't possibly be true. For one, you can't open them, and for two, if you try to throw something at them, they will not ever break open with a satisfying //crunch// and in fact the person with said eyes will likely be very angry at you and you will have to go to jail.\n\nNot that you'd know from experience or anything.\n\nRegardless, you focus your attention [[back to the rest of the bus|On the Bus to Work]].
Your bed is so comfy and warm! Your favorite thing about it is the quilt, which is covered with [[pictures of windows|previous()]].
<<if $House_Destroyed is false>>How could something that gave you so much happiness before give you so little now? You long to chuck the rotten fruit out the window, but can't while the mouse is still guarding it. Best to [[work out some other plan of attack|Home2]].<<else if $House_Destroyed is true>>Now that the mouse menace is over, the window is once again a source of delight. <<if $Has_Fruit is false>>Unfortunately you don't have anything to throw out of it right now so you [[turn your attention to the rest of your apartment|Home2]].<<else>>You may [[chuck the rotten fruit out the window|Fruit Out]] now. Or [[goof around some|Home2]].<<endif>><<endif>>
<<set $Break_Fail to true>>You stomp your foot onto the festering garbage dump the mouse calls a home, hoping to totally "junk" it (ha!), or, failing that, at least break it up a little. But no matter how much force you use to kick the mouse-house, it never breaks apart. You get down on the ground and try to break it up with your hands, but it //still// holds together.\n\nJesus, what is this house even //made of?// It looks like some kind of plastic junk, but there are a bunch of bits and pieces of cicuitry in there as well... oh.\n\nIt's your old laptop from before. Remember, the one you threw out the window? Wow, what a great time that was. I guess that's what explains why this piece of trash holds up so well, though; the folks who made your laptop made it good and sturdy. The only thing that managed to break it so far was hitting the concrete from five stories away. You'll have to [[look for something to break it apart in the rest of your home|Home2]].
It's your laptop. Fittingly enough, it has Windows 8 installed on it.\n\nYou could [[pick it up|Take Laptop]], if you like. Or [[look at the rest of the room|Your Room]], instead.
Ah, it's a brand new day. The light of dawn touches your face, the birds are singing, and a gentle breeze is blowing in and [[out the window|Your Room]].
Ugh, what a disgusting heap of junk. No wonder the mouse set it by the [[desk|Desk2]], what with both being literal sacks of garbage. <<nobr>><<if $Break_Fail is false>>What is this crap made out of, anyway? It looks like some kind of plastic trash?\n<br><br>\nYou could try [[breaking it into bits|Break Fail]], of course. That oughta get the mouse's attention. Or maybe [[search the apartment some more, sniff out some clues|Home2]].\n<<else if $Break_Fail is true>>It's made from the laptop you threw out the window this morning. Ah, good times, good times. Wonder how the mouse got a hold of it, though. Maybe he's trying to make some kind of metaphor? //Nah.//\n<br><br>\nAnyway, that old laptop was pretty sturdy (before it hit the concrete at around 50 miles per), so it'd be a good idea to [[search the apartment for ways to break it|Home2]].<<endif>><<endnobr>>
And as you reflect on your short, sweet life in the brief moments before you hit the street, you realize you have\n\n//GONE//\n\n''[[OUT THE WINDOW|Credits]]''
This is it. The window to your office. You can feel the breeze blowing through it calling to you. You know you really shouldn't, but you //need// to throw something out that window, //anything//.\n\n<<if $Toast is false>>But you don't have anything suitable on you right now (that nail file fell out of your pocket in the elevator), so you resign yourself to [[searching the rest of the office|Office]].<<else if $Toast is true>>Now that you are armed with pieces of toast, you may [[fling them out the window|Toast out Window]]. Or [[take another look at the rest of the office|Office]], if you're a dummy who likes wasting their time.<<endif>>
//Hrrmmmmph!!// You throw the very large book out the window. It crashes through the window of an Asian Marketplace and completely demolishes all the displays up front. //Yes!// Direct hit!\n\nYou're so giddy the rest of the bus ride over that you hardly remember [[getting off the bus and heading into the office|SceneChange2]].
Ah, your window. It makes you feel happy and free. It makes you feel so darn alive. It makes you feel like a million bucks, all stacked up nice and neat at the bank, where you are stuffed in a dark, dark safe and it is quite likely no-one will ever see you again. It makes you want to live life to the fullest. It makes you want to ride a giant silver eagle, with the wind in your hair and gross bird feathers at your feet. It makes you want to... throw something out of it.\n\n<<nobr>><<if visited ("Take Laptop")>>You may [[throw your laptop out the window|Throw Laptop]], if you wish. Or you can [[turn your attention to the rest of your room|Your Room]]. Whatever you want to do. (Hint: it is most definitely going to be the first option.)\n<<else>>Sadly, you aren't carrying anything that you can throw out a window, so it is with a heavy heart that you must [[turn your attention to the rest of your room|Your Room]].<<endif>><<endnobr>>
This plate, like many other things in your office, is nailed down, so as to prevent you from picking it up and flinging it out the window. <<if $Toast is false>>Currently there are some pieces of toast on it, which you have cunningly cut and arranged into the shape of window panes. Hey! You [[could pick up the toast|Get Toast]] and fling //that// out the window! [[That's a great idea!|Get Toast]] Why didn't you think of it before?<<else if $Toast is true>>Currently there's nothing on it, because you picked up all the toast that was there to chuck it out the window. Speaking of such, [[why don't you get on that?|Office Window]]<br><br>(Oh, and the plate is garbage now, btw.)<<endif>>\n\nAnyway, you can [[go back to the rest of the office|Office]], if you like.
It's your desk. <<if visited ("Take Laptop")>>It is bereft of objects, and thus bereft of purpose. It belongs in the garbage, like the other garbage items. No one will come to its funeral.<br><br>Disgusted, you [[turn your attention to the rest of your room|Your Room]].<<else>>On it is [[your laptop|Your Laptop]].<br><br>You could also [[look at the rest of the room|Your Room]], if you want.<<endif>>
It's the space between the [[desk|Desk2]] (trash), the [[little mouse house|Mouse House]] (also trash), and the wall. The desk, the house, and the wall, in that order. To reiterate, the desk lies in front of the little trash house, which is in between that and the wall.\n\n//Heeey//, that [[gives you an idea...|Idea]]
\n\nIt [[breaks|Smash3]] the house in two.
This is your XBox, which your dad got you. It is the 360 edition, as opposed to Bones or Original Recipe. Rather than nailing it down, the higher-ups decided to crazy glue it to the floor. They also crazy glued the controller to the plug-in socket. It's not so bad, since the controller is always powered on, but sometimes you just want to chuck it out the window and you can't, and it just kills you, y'know?\n\nAnyway, currently it's playing Dark Souls 2, the box for which is on the XBox. You could [[inspect them both|Game]], if you like. Or [[turn your attention to the rest of the room|Office]].
Testers:\nSergio Cornaga\nDaniel\nAlan DeNiro\n\nSquillion Stylesheet used in the house-breaking sequence by Leon "L" Arnott. (Some elements modified by the author.)\n\nSpecial thanks to Sergio for thinking up most of the thrown objects.\n\nBased on the song of the same title by the Violent Femmes.
You got Dark Souls 2 because the game-store was all out of Breaking Windows 2: Fenestration Boogaloo. You can't believe nobody there even heard of that game before! It is definitely your very favorite game-series. Anyway, Dark Souls 2 is okay, but it is very hard, and you pine for the sweet embrace of a good defenestration simulator.\n\nThe box for it is sitting on the [[XBox]]. Now you might think that it would be a good candidate for throwing out the window, since it's almost the only thing in this room that isn't literally nailed down, and also it is empty and therefore worthless. But there's a catch here: if you throw that out //now//, there won't be any game-box left to carry Dark Souls 2 when you finish playing it //later//. Tricky one, would be a good way to describe this situation. [[Best to search elsewhere|Office]], then.
You chuck the rotting fruit out the window, which manages to reach the park across the street and hit a bunch of school children on a field trip. Yes! //Yes!!// Oh my that felt good.\n\nAfter that [[glorious hit|Scene Change4]] you gaze out the window for what feels like hours.
You take a look at the bus window. It's one of those slide-open deals.\n\n<<nobr>><<if $Bus_Window_Open is false>>You could \n<<if $Nail_File is true>>[[slide it open right now|Open Bus Window]]\n<<else>>[[slide it open right now|Window Stuck]]<<endif>>! Or you could [[look at the rest of the bus again|On the Bus to Work]].\n<<else if $Bus_Window_Open is true and $Has_Shrug is false>>It's open right now, but you don't have anything that's fit to fling out of it. Wasn't there [[some book next to your seat?|On the Bus to Work]]\n<<else if $Bus_Window_Open is true and $Has_Shrug is true>>It's open right now. You could [[throw that heavy book you picked up out of it|Shrug Out Window]]. Or [[take another look at the bus|On the Bus to Work]], whichever. (Please oh please oh //please// throw the book)<<endif>><<endnobr>>
Out the Window
You twist your shoulders back, readying yourself for the [[throw...|End1]]
Smash the desk into the wall?\n[[Yes|Smash1]]\n[[Oh my yes|Smash1]]
\n\nFinally, the house [[collapses|Smash6]] in a cloud of <<if $Break_Fail is true>>circuitry<<else if $Break_Fail is false>>plastic junk<<endif>>.
Gently, you reach down under the cat and lift her up. She purrs, quite happy to be the center of attention.\n\n[[Wanna peep that window.|Landlady Window]]
This is your bedroom. It's on the fifth story of your apartment building. The [[window|Your Window]] is open, letting a gentle breeze blow through. Your [[bed|Your Bed]] is lying next to it, and opposite your bed is your [[desk|Your Desk]], <<nobr>><<if visited ("Take Laptop")>>\nwhich is empty of goods, and thus of meaning\n<<else>>on which sits your [[laptop|Your Laptop]]<<endif>>.<<endnobr>>
It's sort of cramped here, with all the morning rush [[people]] on their way to work. Luckily, you managed to get a [[window|Bus Window]] seat. <<if $Bus_Window_Open is true>>The window is open and letting in some breeze.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $Has_Shrug is false>>Hey! Somebody left a [[book|Atlas Shrugged]] under the [[seat|Bus Seat]]! Score!<<else>>You're carrying [[a book called //Atlas Shrugged//|Read Shrugged]] that you found under the [[seat|Bus Seat]].<<endif>>
You pick up and carry your laptop. With that taken care of, you turn your attention [[back to the rest of your room|Your Room]].
Your window-based reverie is cut short by a knock at the door.\n\n"Hello?" says your landlady. "Could you open up in here? I need to speak to you about the noise folks have heard coming out of here lately."\n\nYou dutifully follow your landlady [[up the stairs|Landlady]] to her apartment.
Are you surprised at this turn of events? You shouldn't be.\n\nOh, yes, you always used to say "//oh no, it'd// never// happen to ''me''//" as you shoved pencils, pocketbooks, and more out windows up and down the town.\n\nBut these things have a tendency to come back and bite you. Like the mighty hunter eaten by the tiger in the jungle, the [[defenestrator|End4]] has become the [[defenestrated|End4]].
<<set $House_Destroyed to false>><<set $Has_Fruit to false>><<set $Break_Fail to false>>Life's little annoyances start to dissipate when you reach the door to your apartment. You unlock and open it. //Ah, home at last...//\n\n...is what you think, before you see the mouse that now resides in your home, carousing near the desk and having himself a rotten fruit party.\n\nYou raise your fists in fury. This aggression will not stand!! You must get to the business [[immediately|Home2]].
<<nobr>><<set $Bus_Window_Open to false>>\n<<set $Nail_File to false>>\n<<set $Has_Shrug to false>>\n<<endnobr>>You can't help skipping as you strut to the bus stop. It's a marvelous spring day, and you pause to glance at all the windows in your apartment complex (none of which are as good as your own, of course) before [[getting on the bus|On the Bus to Work]].
Unlike your desk at home, this at least has the dignity to be carrying [[your computer|Office Computer]], plus <<if $Toast is false>>a [[plate of victuals|Plate]]. One<<else if $Toast is true>>an [[empty plate|Plate]]. Both<<endif>> of these items <<if $Toast is true>>are<<else if $Toast is false>>is<<endif>> virtually garbage, but at least the desk itself isn't something a garbage truck would take a dump on.\n\nHad enough? [[Let's look at the rest of the office again|Office]].
Your HDTV (you used to have one at home, but, well, you can guess the rest) is currently hooked up to the [[XBox]], which is currently playing [[Dark Souls 2|Game]]. Some wannabe-jokester has had it nailed it to the wall.\n\nYou could [[give up on here and search the rest of your office|Office]], if you want.
It's called //Atlas Shrugged//, by some author you've never heard of. You could [[pick it up|Take Atlas Shrugged]], or [[sit quietly on the bus for a few more minutes|On the Bus to Work]].
\n\nThe mouse looks up from his fruit, startled by the noise. He [[screams|Smash4]].
<<set $Toast to true>>You grab all the toast and stuff them into your pockets. Time to check out that [[window!|Office Window]]
You lazily look down at the cat below the table, not really fully awake yet. The cat puts her paws on your lap and mews happily.\n\n[[Wanna pick up that cat.|Pick Up Cat]]
<<set $Nail_File to true>>You dig your fingernails into the gum until the object pops out. Hey! This is a nail file! <<if visited("Window Stuck")>>You could use this to get the gum out of the window, probably.<<else>>This could come in handy, maybe.<<endif>> You pocket the nail file and [[turn your attention back to the rest of the bus|On the Bus to Work]].
<<set $Toast to false>>Work sucks so much more now that you can't actually throw things out the window anymore (thanks to the incident with the mini-fridge). Sure, the only reason that it didn't get you fired is because your dad is the CEO, but //your dad is the CEO!// You should be able to do whatever you want!\n\nForlornly, you [[take a look at your office|Office]].
"Now, you're not in trouble or anything," says your landlady. "We just want to find out what's been the source of all that noise."\n\nShe lets you wait in a chair by her window while she gets you some tea and ladyfingers.\n\n"Have you seen my cat?" she asks you. "She usually likes visitors."\n\nYou doze off for a bit before being awoken by mewing near your feet.\n\n[[Wanna peep that cat.|Cat]]
Suddenly the landlady pops back in with the tea and pastries. "Oh my god!" she screams. "What do you think you're doing?"\n\nShe runs to the window, trying to yank the cat out of your arms. You scream, you yell, you scratch and claw, but are [[no match|End2]] for your landlady or her cat.
It's a letter in the mouse's handwriting. It reads:\n\n//Two the persan who livs heer\n\nDeer Human\n\nI am a mouss. Befour I livd on the streat and dident hav aney frends. But wen I sahw yor lap-top beein crushd on the streat, I thoght I fownd somone hoo cud be a troo frend. I thoght we cud bond over our muchual(sp?) luv of throwng stuf out windos. Butt I wuz ==rong== wron. Im sorrey I cawsd yoo so much trubble.\n\n(dont) catch me if Im fallng\n\n--Mouss//\n\nThis is actually a pretty good suicide note (for a tool to write). Anyway [[back to business|Home2]].
It's a book about how rich industrialists don't owe anything to society. It's pretty good, but what it //really// needs are some scenes about throwing stuff out of windows.\n\nAnyway, [[let's just focus on the bus for now|On the Bus to Work]], okay?
In the struggle, you are inadvertently [[shoved out the window|End3]].
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<<set $Bus_Window_Open to true>><<if visited("Window Stuck")>>You take out your nail file and scrape out the gum in the crack between the windows.<<else>>//Hrrrmmgh!!// Try as you might, the window doesn't want to slide open. It seems there's a bit of gum stuck to the slidey part. You take out your nail file and scrape it out.<<endif>> With that done, you slide the window all the way open. [[Now we //really// get to do some damage!|Bus Window]]
This is your office. It's pretty bare since they took out most of your stuff. All that's left in here is [[your computer|Office Computer]], [[your desk|Office Desk]], [[your HDTV|HDTV]], [[your XBox|XBox]], and last but certainly not least, [[your window|Office Window]].\n\nUgh, it's //so ''boring''// here. //Must... throw... object... out... window!//
You'd love to curl up under the window-embroidered covers and <<if $House_Destroyed is false>>pretend this whole thing is over<<else>>turn in for the night<<endif>>, but you can't! You've [[got work to do|Home2]].
<<set $Has_Shrug to true>> //Umph!// It's pretty heavy! This will defintely break something if you throw it out a window, like possibly another window! That's a double combo! With eager eyes you turn your attention [[back to the bus|On the Bus to Work]].
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You carry the cat over to the window. She mews, a little confused about what you're going to do. //Are we going on an adventure?// she seems to ask. //Is this an adventure ''right now''?//\n\n[[Wanna throw that cat out that window.|Cat Out Window]]
<<if $Nail_File is false>>Hey, looks like something's stuck under the seat with some gum. You could [[fish it out|Take File]]. Or you could [[look at the bus again|On the Bus to Work]].<<else>>There is nothing stuck under the seat anymore, therefore it is worthless. You are ashamed to be sitting here. If you could spit upside down you would spit on the underside of this seat, so gross it is now. You [[turn your attention to the rest of the bus|On the Bus to Work]] in disgust.<<endif>>
<<if $House_Destroyed is false>>You can hardly stand to look at this trash. If you didn't have to go to work this morning you would have taken it out to the curb. It is something a garbage truck would take a dump on. You may have used that turn of phrase already. Whatever. The point is it's empty and therefore trash.\n\nAnd what's worse is that the [[mouse's house|Mouse House]] is right next to it! There's even [[a little space between them and the wall|Space]]. Disgusting.\n\nChrist, looking at all the garbage in this part of the room is giving you a headache. [[Let's look at the garbage in the other parts of the room.|Home2]]<<else if $House_Destroyed is true>>Now that the mouse is gone, the desk feels... diferent, somehow. Less like something that belongs in a garbage dump, perhaps. Maybe just because something is empty doesn't mean it has to be worthless. A lesson has been learned today.\n\nOr, wait, scratch that, because you can see a [[letter|Note]] on the desk. Anyway, it's probably about time you [[looked at the rest of the room|Home2]].<<endif>>
\n\nYou [[look out the window|Voctory]]. There, on the pavement, is a small, mouse-shaped bloodstain.
//Ugh//, it's a //Mac//. They know you hate Macs! Why couldn't they have gotten a computer that ran Windows? Is it because you can't help but fling them out windows at the earliest oppurtunity? What's wrong with that? "Windows" is in their name, isn't it?\n\nAnyway, this is nailed to the [[desk|Office Desk]], so you couldn't pick it up and carry it to the [[window|Office Window]], even if you wanted to. [[Back to the ol' drawing board|Office]], then.
\n\nThe mouse [[screams|Smash5]] on while you [[ram|Smash5]] the desk into the wall, again and again and again.
You hurl your laptop out the window with all the strength you can muster. Moments later, you hear a loud crunch and deafening scream. Ah yes, that must have really hurt someone.\n\nYou crack your knuckles. [[Time to go to work.|Scene Change 1]]
Bramble Bobonong
\n\nYou [[slam|Smash2]] the desk into the wall.
\nYou [[laugh|Smash7]] like a maniac while you [[scoop up|Smash7]] every last piece and [[throw them out the window.|Smash7]]\n\nMeanwhile, the mouse [[takes out|Smash7]] a pen and paper.
\n\nFinally, every last piece of the house of trash is gone. You [[look|Smash8]] for the mouse but don't see him anywhere.
<<if $House_Destroyed is false>>You don't why that mouse hoards that stupid pile of rotten fruit. Everyone //knows// that's good window-throwing material! Why, you could hit a baby with that and be entertained for months! Or, well, at least a whole afternoon.\n\nThe mouse looks pretty growly just from you standing over his fruit, so you decide to [[head on over to the rest of the room|Home2]].<<else>>Ah, you can not wait to throw this stinking, rotten fruit out the window. [[Pick it up like some kind of ska song!|Home2][$Has_Fruit to true]] Or [[fart around some more|Home2]].<<endif>>
You fling the pieces of toast out of the window, where the wind scatteres them around and they... they just fall to the ground, really. Wow. What, is some bird gonna eat them now? How boring. Wow.\n\n[[You're starting to remember why you rarely come in to work these days.|Scene Change3]]